‘I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?’ Drunken driver hit something but didn’t stop, Keys cops say

A Big Pine Key woman early Friday side-swiped a parked car on the Seven Mile Bridge while drunk and kept going, police said.

Yvonne Victoria Fassett, 61, told Monroe deputies she “felt something” while she was driving but thought she had a flat tire and didn’t want to stop because it was dark and she was frightened, according to the arrest report.

She said she knew she hadn’t crashed into a “body,” police said.

“I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?” she asked. She said she had one glass of wine at J.J.’s Dog House bar in Marathon.

“Yvonne was barefoot and no shoes were found in the vehicle,” wrote Deputy Shawn Steele.

Her Chrysler minivan had struck a parked Pontiac. The driver of the Pontiac, Michael Pollydore, 61, of Sunrise, was stopped to help another driver change a tire on the bridge.

Fassett was arrested on misdemeanor charges of DUI, leaving the scene of a crash and property damage for the 3 a.m. incident at mile marker 43.

She had a “balance problem” while standing, deputies said, and at one point tried to answer her ringing cell phone by saying “hello” into the phone.

Fassett’s minivan lost its front tire — she was driving on the rim — a side view mirror and a sliding door handle to the crash. The van had magnetic signs reading “Island Taxi” on the rear and side. An identical magnetic sign was found at the crash site, police said.

Her blood-alcohol level was recorded as 0.15 and then 0.14 on a second sample. The legal limit is 0.08.

During the field sobriety exercises, Fassett fell once. “I am not a ballerina,” she told deputies while laughing, and when told how to walk the line, she said, “Like Hitler,” police reported.

On Friday afternoon, she remained at the Stock Island Detention Center without bond.